Sunday, December 7, 2008

Community Calendar

Oh how my weekend is complete.

I received a gift wrapped in a plastic bag on my door knob this morning. (Actually, I received it on Saturday...but chose not to take it in until Sunday, yes I am very Frum. Either that or the big "L Word" = Lazy.)

Well, as I drove down my still icy driveway at 8:15 this Sunday morning on my way to Hebrew school in the 16 degree weather, I noticed the gift wrapped in plastic. At first I was hesitant. It looked like some sort of solicitation I'd throw directly into the garbage. But hence it was not a solicitation.

It was better.

Much, much better.

I had received the 2009 Windsor Heights Community Calendar.

Joy to the world.

Now, I'm not trying to be negative. It's actually a really beautiful calendar. I could always use a calendar in the house.

Nautrally, I looked for the Shabbos lighting times on Fridays and the Pessach and Sukkos schedule, but who was I kidding? I hate to break it to myself, but there are approximately 10 other souls in the city of Windsor Heights who are in need of documenting Shabbos and Yom Tov times on their weekly/monthly calendars. I began to think to myself - what's the point of having a calendar if it doesn't show Shabbos and Yom Tov times? I wonder...

I know! I can check to see what days of the week mine and Josh's birthdays fall out on.

Josh's birthday is on a Friday and mine is on a Wednesday. Lovely.

okkkkk, What next?

This is boring.

I then noticed there were small postings on many days through out the calendar. I wondered what they were. I looked closer at the title of the calendar reading "Community" Calendar and I then realized that there were community events written on various dates.

This ought to be good. Let's review together shall we?

1. Elk's Bingo Club: Meets Sundays at 2:00 PM and Thursdays at 7:00 PM
Senior citizens, hearing aids, a night of math = NO THANK YOU.

2. Lions Club Meeting: Meets at Hy-Vee first Tuesday of every month at 6:30 PM
I know that Hy-Vee is the local supermarket but I haven't the slightest clue what the Lions Club Meeting is. Honestly, it sounds like a gentleman's club... but I'm not going down there. And I don't know why they'd meet in a supermarket.

3. Mayor's Hour: Meets every second Tuesday from 9:00-10:00 AM at the Mayor's Office
I wonder what kind of issues they'd bring up? Kinder, gentler dog rights? More rigorous plowing trucks? Annual children-with-no-shoes day? I have a whole list of things that I'd bring up. Starting with prohibiting manual garages to documenting Shabbos times on the calendar.

Note to self - attend Mayor's Hour.

(What if Mayor's Hour means a discussion of the Mayor's agenda, not the community members' agenda. Oops, didn't think about that.)

Note to self - stop being so selfish.

4. City Council Meeting: Every other week 5:15 at City Hall.
Oh this must be where community members can voice their rights. Let the mayor talk during his hour, I'll be attending the city council meeting.

5. Community Coffee Club: Meets third Saturday of every month from 9:00-10:30 AM at Grounds for Celebration.
My favorite coffee shop in the city!! And they meet on Saturday mornings.
Great, the one community event I'm passionate about. Oh well, it doesn't beat Shabbos. Moving on...

6. Legislative Coffee: Meets last Saturday of every month at 9:00 AM at 3E.
OK, don't know where 3E is but I sure don't understand what the correlation between coffee and Saturdays is. Hello?? Include others!

7. Elk's Club Pancake Breakfast: Meets second Sunday of every month 8:00 AM - Noon.
Don't know who these Elk club people are, but I'm up for pancakes.
But wait, these are the same people that play bingo. I have a feeling no one under 65 will be admitted.

8. WHF Meeting second Tuesday at 7:00 PM/ / WHJCC Board Meeting last Friday of every month from 8:30-9:30 AM.
I don't know what WHF or WHJCC stand for - kind of reminds me of WWF. Who knows, maybe it's a Des Moines wrestling club. I'm not one to judge...

Well there are others, but that pretty much sums it up.

Despite the fact that the calendar lacks Shabbos and Yom Tov times, it does not lack humor in my opinion -- which is always well needed. Now I know what to do on days that I'm bored. Crash the local council meeting, covet the Saturday coffee club, steer clear of Elk's Club Bingo, and pray to Gd the Lion's Club isn't doing what I think they're doing in the local family-friendly supermarket.

This is Des Moines we're talking about. I should be ashamed of myself for even suggesting such a thing.

Oh and naturally, there are restaurant coupons on the back flap of the calendar.

1 comment:

Rachelz said...

um malks, if you have time to read the iowa community calendar, you might have too much time on your hands. :)